I wanted a unique destiny.

29 октября, 2021 от blago Выкл

It seems to me that the crisis comes when you understand that there will be no unique destiny and the great achievements too. But having accepting the loss of this illusion, it comes to relief.

In reality, live easier than the future. No high expectations. No longer need to play other people’s roles. But adoption may not come, leaving us forever in the stage of anger or denial. And together with diseases and senile persecidity, this existence is little similar to life.

About illusions

At the age of 15, I thought that I would have a tinted eight to the majority, and I would wear a mink cap, and not a bilateral Finnish Gandonchik. And if you look a little away, there everything was not. Glory, beautiful women and cars, romantic relationships, feats and ingenious works that I create ….

I sincerely did not understand how you can choose the fate of the worker
or engineer, depriving himself all that is in the world. For example, there were peers who really looked at things, even then thought about an early pension, about a stable salary, etc.

No millions and successes were dreaming. By the way, they are most successful in our generation. Maybe not the richest, but the course of life is kept since childhood.

People who know what they want are generally unique. They are enough enough, and they are satisfied. But such a need to be born. All other twigs are reduced to accepting their imperfection.

And such as I dream, but do little. Because any purpose seems fine to invest 100% in it. One day will come that day and all the stars will come together. I will find my destination. I will implement myself, create, carry a good peace and enjoy. Not me alone was such a teenager.

About reality

And then Batz, and 20 years flew. Neither your written book, nor yachts, no feats. Yes, and for just ordinary life I had to compete. They say, the pride is valid according to the principle, if I can not be the best, I will be the worst. This is what pushes people to self-dispersion. I had to make efforts to go from the worst to go to the category of normal.

Or maybe it was such a protective mechanism? To make better, you need to first make worse. In order to appreciate that normal life is also greater value, many inaccessible.

Well, again takes me. I wanted to admit itself about regrets, but pulls to dig and dig up again.

What regret?

Probably too

Still strains that

Such a thing disappeared as

Parents are not young, and close to close.

No no, yes and fly

It is not easy to take the heart that you live the best scenario from possible. But in general, tolerant. It is not ashamed and not dumb, for their actions — already well.

It turns out that there are no serious disappointments. Maybe because I turned into a pessimist to 30, and now reap the fruits of unrealized worst expectations? Now it would not be overwhelming with optimism))))